Dylan's Candy Bar, New York, NY

Mom:

Sugar Heaven in Manhattan

I’ve never realized it, but it seems I might have claustrophobia…   It gripped me when I stepped into Dylan’s Candy Bar on one of the most sweltering days in Manhattan.   I was grateful for the blast of cool air when I stepped through the door but the crush of bodies (of various sizes from knee high to living room wide) swarmed around me and made me dizzy and short of breath.  The Teen was manically pointing and saying “OMG”  “WHOA”, “ COOL” and  other monosyllabic statements in a higher pitch than normal.  Apparently, the way one operates in these types of stores is to randomly grab something and dart around.  Grab and dart.  Grab and dart.   Gulp, I needed to go "within!"  Close my eyes…..deep breaths…… oh yes, inhale……..ahhh, exhale………..going to my happy place...  

Then out of my “soft focus” eyes, I spotted a different kind of happy place.   A WALL of chocolate bars.  Rubbing my eyes to make sure I wasn’t hallucinating, I drifted over, avoiding all the darting ankle biters.   There, in my new happy place, I came upon Le Whif.  Aerosol chocolate you inhale!  ONE calorie per “puff.”   The box looks suspiciously like a box of cigarettes… wait a sec, is this stuff even legal?   Inhaling chocolate?  Is that the kind of thing you do when you're a wealthy American being held captive in the Colombian jungles by the FARC for ten plus years?   As I reached for a box of Dark Chocolate Le Whif, the Teen pops up with a “See anything interesting?”  NO!  Nothing.  Nada.  Just M&Ms.    Visions of her sharing Le Whif with her friends as souvenirs and THEIR parent's horrified reactions at their teens sitting around snorting chocolate  made me quickly steer her and myself to the cashier with a few cute canisters of mints. 

Teen:

“Greetings loved ones, let’s take a journey.”  These are the first lyrics of Snoop Dog in California Gurls by Katy Perry. In the music video, Katy Perry explores a candyland, which we all KNOW doesn’t exist ……I BEG TO DIFFER.  It isn’t filled with cotton candy clouds and girls with hair-do’s of very unusual colors dressed in candy, BUT Dylan’s Candy Bar is the closest thing we have to resemble Katy Perry’s sweet heaven.

"There must be something in the water."

We started on the crowded first floor of the giant candy shop. Wait a moment, is that a chocolate fountain I smell?!?! Indeed it is, and right by the fountain are graham crackers and marshmallows to make your own s’more. Mmm-mm. The candy stairs pull me toward the other levels, and Mom had no choice but to follow my unconscious action. The second floor is filled with M&M’s and Belgian chocolate bars in various flavors. I made a quick grab at whatever my shaky hands could manage and assembled gifts for my “fine fresh fierce” friends. Mom of course noticed some low calorie chocolate called Le Whif. …that alone just sounds wrong, yet so interesting. So far, I’d say this “journey” is going quite well. The third floor is a café…of course Mom didn’t want to be stuck in my candyland heaven forever so she quickly said, “I’m sure it’s just regular food.” Doubting, but agreeing that it was probably the safest idea not to go up there, we headed out.  

Now, “I know a place where the grass is really greener.” 

Crepes o Chocolat, San Francisco, CA

MOM:

This place has homemade kombucha? Oooooh boy, show me the way!  For those in the dark, kombucha is a fermented tea made with a solid mass of yeast and bacteria to form the kombucha culture.   It’s touted to be a miracle cure for all kinds of ailments but I’m only interested in it’s wrinkle reducing claims, well, ok, a stronger immune system would be nice too.  A french cafe for new agey "healing"?  Namaste! 

Piles of "souffles..." 

Inside the teeny-tiny shop, I was distracted by the PILES of organic chocolate "soufflés" and cookies.  Heavenly!   I finally spotted the mysterious bottles with “stuff” floating in it – bit daunting.   I carefully picked up a bottle of pomegranate kombucha with just a little “stuff” floating around.  I wonder if my teen knows CPR?  She can at least text someone… but with my luck, it’s another teen…   Back to my Elixir of Youth which was accompanied by a delicious teeny baguette stuffed with prosciutto, figs and goat cheese – didn’t even taste the kombucha culture!  It was ALL divine! 

 

I swear I looked younger after lunch.....

TEEN:

Melted Chocolate Drink. That’s what caught MY eye on the website. So of course, I hassled my mom about going to taste this magical-sounding drink. Walking into the teeny shop, I spotted a mirror to my left but didn’t get a chance to check out my reflection for too long as my eyes caught something beautiful…huge Souffles! Piles and piles and piles of big chocolaty goodness. My eyes followed a trail along the rest of the delectable looking food behind the glass. That is, until they landed on the Egg and Asparagus sandwich. I hurried over to my mom who stood in front of something called…Kombucha? It’s appearance was not it’s best trait if I do say so myself. 

Bitter Melted Chocolate Drink

Anyway, she ordered a sandwich along with my Egg and Asparagus one and I went outside to find a table where I sat like a loner. Next to me, a man was having some difficulty with his iPad. His friend arrived carrying their food, and accidently let half of their sandwich fall onto “iPad dude’s” suit. I tried to contain my laughter by looking into the bushes…not my most subtle cover yet. Mom brought our sandwiches and her very unappealing Kombucha. My sandwich was just a bit too bland and I went back inside to buy my long awaited Melted Chocolate Drink. I made the mistake of not asking what kind of chocolate was being melted. I am a Milk Chocolate type of girl, not dark or bittersweet. My idea of good hot chocolate is Swiss Miss from Safeway. This Melted Chocolate was SUPER bittersweet. Maybe even just bitter… At the first sip, I felt my tongue peek out of my mouth searching for Swiss Miss sweetness- bitter! Personally, it was kind of a disappointment. However, my mom certainly benefitted. She called it “the best hot chocolate” she’s ever had. Psh.

Hooker's Sweet Treats, San Francisco, CA

MOM:

Um, no, the irony is NOT lost on me that I’m looking for “treats” from a place called Hooker’s in  San Francisco’s “red light” Tenderloin district.  The reviews were so mouth watering and besides, I had my scrappy teen to protect me….when she’s not texting.  

In the middle of the Tenderloin!

We found the tiny, utterly charming Hooker’s Sweet Treats and I made a beeline for the little antique counter top display with a handful of chocolates and cookies innocently waiting.   As I carefully inspected the goods, a young, pony-tailed guy offered a smile and descriptions of the three offerings.

       1. Sea salted dark chocolate covered caramel 

       2. Cookie with the aforementioned baked IN!

       3. Peanut butter cookies.

He also made some noise about special coffee but I was still lingering on "cookie with the caramels baked in"…..my knees were buckling.   Taking a deep breath, I ordered two chocolates, one for me, and one for the bored teen next to me.   He put two pieces on the counter and suddenly, a manic impulse took over  me (or was it rational logic?) and I demanded a box of 10!    Yes, before I even picked up the gorgeous little square!  The teen looked startled, but was used to her mother’s manic behavior in the presence of chocolate, and immediately went back to her bored look.  The young man was also startled but quickly recovered.  For some unfathomable reason, he took back one of the chocolates on the counter and told us to share the one left while he prepared my box of 10!  Even more bizarre, I obeyed and bit half the chocolate before handing it over.  Sugar Nirvana.  Crisp salty, soft sweet gooey, rich deep chocolate.  Whoa…….I love Hooker.  

TEEN:
Hmm…ok, so, I was woken up at eight in the morning by the excitement of my mom wanting to find Hookers. Perhaps it was to show me what I look like when I don't dress appropriately? To scare me out of it? Nope. It’s a chocolate shop. So we drove/trekked somewhere in the middle of downtown San Francisco’s ghetto. It didn’t seem dangerous as people there were more interested in talking to themselves rather than us. Whatever, that’s beside the point. We soon noticed the little shop called Hooker's Sweet Treats. The interior was decorated to look very cute, which included a cute cashier. The glass enclosure contained the chocolates my mom had been so excited about. I mean really? They’re just chocolates. But they were delicious chocolates!! I hate how my mom is always right… 

A Box of Relationships!

After some thinking, these chocolates could easily relate to middle school relationships. I don’t know how these things come to mind, but maybe it will give teenagers a better visual. Going from the inside, out: The caramel is sweet and smooth, how relationship always start out, and fills up a majority of it. Then comes the dark, hard shell of chocolate. The first signs of the relationship going downhill toward a break-up. It’s the thinnest part. Lastly, it’s ended with the salty goodbyes, sprinkled on top. The caramel part is the best…both in the chocolate, and in the relationship. However, it takes the dark chocolate and sea salt to correctly compliment it. ;)